10 Red Flags to Watch For on a First Date

First dates are exciting, but they're also an opportunity to observe whether someone is right for you. While everyone has nerves and might say something awkward, there are clear red flags that indicate someone isn't a good match—or worse, might be toxic or unsafe.

Why Red Flags Matter

Recognizing red flags early saves you time, emotional energy, and potential heartache. It also helps you avoid getting involved with someone who doesn't share your values or might not treat you well. Trust your instincts and pay attention to these warning signs.

10 Red Flags to Watch For

1. Disrespectful Behavior

If they're rude to waitstaff, dismissive of your opinions, or talk over you, that's a major red flag. How someone treats others (especially service workers) shows their character.

2. Excessive Talk About Exes

Mentioning an ex once or twice is normal, but constantly talking about exes—especially in negative ways—suggests they're not over past relationships or might have unresolved issues.

3. Pushing Boundaries

If they pressure you to do anything you're uncomfortable with—whether it's drinking, going to their place, or anything else—that's a clear red flag. Respectful people respect boundaries.

4. Inconsistent Stories

If their stories don't add up, they contradict themselves, or details change, that's suspicious. Honest people tell consistent stories.

5. No Interest in You

If they only talk about themselves and never ask about you, that's a red flag. Conversation should be a two-way street. They should want to learn about you too.

6. Negative Energy

While everyone has bad days, someone who's overwhelmingly negative, complains constantly, or seems to hate everything is draining and not good relationship material.

7. They're On Their Phone Constantly

If they're constantly checking their phone, texting, or scrolling during your date, they're not present or interested. You deserve someone's full attention.

8. They Make You Feel Uncomfortable

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Whether it's their comments, behavior, or energy, if you feel uncomfortable, that's a red flag.

9. They're Controlling or Possessive

Comments like "you shouldn't wear that" or "I don't like when you talk to other people" are huge red flags. Controlling behavior only gets worse.

10. They Don't Respect Your "No"

If you say no to something and they push, negotiate, or try to change your mind, that's a major red flag. "No" should mean "no" immediately.

What to Do If You Notice Red Flags

If you notice red flags on a first date, don't ignore them hoping they'll get better. Trust your instincts:

• End the date early if you feel unsafe or very uncomfortable
• Don't agree to a second date if you saw multiple red flags
• Share your experience with trusted friends or in a community like TeaOnMyBoo where verified members share real stories
• Remember: you don't owe anyone a second chance if they showed red flags

The Power of Community Knowledge

One of the best ways to avoid red flags is to learn from others' experiences. Verified communities like TeaOnMyBoo allow members to share real stories, helping others recognize patterns and warning signs before they experience them firsthand.

Conclusion

Red flags are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored. While no one is perfect, certain behaviors indicate fundamental incompatibility or potential problems. Trust your instincts, pay attention to how you feel, and don't be afraid to walk away if you see multiple red flags.

Remember: it's better to be single than to be with someone who shows red flags. Your time and emotional energy are valuable—don't waste them on someone who isn't right for you.